![]() ![]() We tend not to have to think about building relationships with our children, it’s just something that happens. With PDA it will always look like they are refusing to do the task, but the reality is, they can’t, so we need to support them and move on. Dealing with a child who can't do something is very different to how we deal with a child who won't do something. This means that we are better able to handle it and support children through it. We need to try and recognise the underlying anxiety and/or sensory challenges behind negative behaviours, for example viewing challenging behaviour as a panic attack. There's a saying that ‘the children who need the most help and support, ask for it in the least useful way’ and this could have been written for children with PDA. if you need them to eat, does it matter if they will only eat in their room? Think about what is really important to you and the situation, then look at the bigger picture and make allowances to enable that to happen, e.g. Give your child choices and control and be prepared for negotiation. Only have rules you really need and keep these to a minimum. The PDA Society Website has lots of specific advice for supporting a child with PDA and they have developed a PANDA mnemonic of top tips: This means that many parents are incorrectly blamed for their child’s behaviour. Many children with PDA develop amazing masking skills and may only show difficult behaviour away from home at the point at which they can no longer do this, e.g. ![]() This may come from well-meaning relatives who will tell you how you should be dealing with your child.
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